While looking for a church to connect with and enjoy a sense of community, I have experienced an incredible amount of rejection and pain!  Who would have thought that church could be such a place where after spending my entire life growing up as the son of a minister, playing the piano, going to church 5, 6, 7, 15 times per week, and eventually becoming a minister myself that I would hear the words "you might not be a good fit for our church".  He was, of course, referring to the fact that now as an openly gay man and no matter what my background was, there was no opportunity to use my gifts in their church.  This was not the first time I had been told this.  In fact, in the evangelical churches, this is quite the norm. 

There is a tremendous fear ministers are faced with as they weigh the pros and cons of interacting with LGBTQ+ people and ,at the same time, lead their church.  Many are afraid they will be judged by other members of the congregations, or revolted against, or even fired for becoming an ally.  This is what is happening across North America and around the world. 

When one becomes a minister or pastor of a church, they become a part of an elite club.  An organization that recognizes their gifts and ability to lead a group of people.  There is a benefit to being a part of the club.  You belong.  You receive advice and council.  You can get a pension.  You can have a fairly comfortable career if you play nice in the sandbox.  But if you upset the sandbox you will be distanced, looked upon as a rebel or maverick, or even worse, cut off from the club.

Herein lies the issue at hand.  No matter what your personal belief system is, or how much study you have done to get to a greater sense of understanding or deeper meaning, no matter what your heart or spirit is saying, as a minister you can never truly love the LGBTQ+ community without being fearful of the consequences.  Some of my pastor friends have reached out to me and expressed the fact that they are caught between a rock and a hard place.  Others have not even said that much but instead continue to just remain quiet and say nothing about their conflicted positions.  When will these people of influence begin to rise up and effect change in their church or their community?  When will the people who have been hiding their true identiies stop being afraid to come out of the closet for fear of being pushed out the front door and away from their families, homes, churches and communities?  When will those brothers and sisters in the LGBTQ+ community say "Stop! I am not going to be pushed out" or  "I belong here". "This is my family just as much as anyone else".  "This is my church".

I pray that we will see change in evangelical denominations as the kingdoms of man fall to reveal the true kingdom of God. That the glib and painful statement "this church might not be the right fit for you" would become "of course there's a place for you at the table...please join us!"